As women, and mums in particular we often put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be ‘perfect’ and have it all together
We often feel like we have to prove our worth.
Often as mums returning to work after maternity leave, we feel that we have to prove that we are a good mum, good wife and have our house in order as well as proving that we are a good employee to our employers.
We put so much pressure on ourselves that at times it can make us feel overwhelmed.
Just the other day I was talking about this very issue with a friend who has recently returned to work.
My friend felt like she had to prove that she could still do her job now that she is a mum and is constantly fearful that she might get a call from day-care to say that she needs to pick her child up, thus letting her workplace down.
On top of this she was feeling like she would be letting her kids down if she had to stay back at work and picked them up later than normal.
I assured her that it is ok to feel this way.
It’s ok to not feel ok.
Retuning to work is a big adjustment and it takes time.
It is a time where you have to work out what your priorities are, making sure you take time out for you. With all the responsibilities you now have, you need to say no sometimes.
As working mums, we don’t need to have it together all the time.
We need to accept that sometimes it is ok not to feel ok!
Being a working mum is tough!
The juggle sometimes feels impossible.
There are good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks. What I have learnt is that it is important to celebrate the good days and not dwell on the bad.
As I was giving advice to my friend I realised that I am guilty of this. I don’t like to admit when I am not ok and I do put extra pressure on myself to be a better mum, a better housewife, or better employee – striving to ‘have it all’.
It is easy to push through our feelings without taking the time to acknowledge them and talk about how we are feeling. When our feelings are bottled up we end up at breaking point and it all seems too much.
I have been there and I’m sure many of you have too.
It’s easy to hide your feelings behind a smile.
But you know what, it is ok to feel this way.
When you feel like this, take some time out, talk to your partner, friends, family or your doctor if you need to.
Focus on the things you enjoy.
Take time out for yourself.
Make note of how you are feeling and work through it. Surround yourself with those that love you and they will help you through it.
Sometimes it takes time but you will feel ok again.